“Never give up on anybody. Miracles happen everyday”-- unknown
“Accept responsibility for your life. Know that it is you who will get you where you want to go, no one else.” – Les Brown
I have always been a believer in giving second, third.... numerous chances in life. I am always grateful when I make a mistake that someone gives me another chance. I am not perfect at all, I certainly have made my share is mistakes in life.
I resolved long ago that I would give people chances. Even though I thought I was making every effort to give people chances, I realized recently that I have not always held true to my promise, as a necessity for my sanity. Specifically, as I have made changes in my life, I have removed people out of my life that have caused unnecessary drama and conflict. I have changed my relationship with others that I did not have the luxury remove. For instance, one of the boys' teachers and I were not communicating well, so I sent Super Handsome in to do the parent/teacher conference. It simplified her life and mine and it gave Super Handsome a chance to be more involved with the school. Win/win/win! That is just one of many examples.
I was crushed when my best friend, refused to give me a second chance.
What I have come to realize is that as painful as it was to loose her friendship, it was for the best. If she can’t forgive me for what I did and realize that I was sorry and that I have changed, our friendship would never work.
Don’t put someone into a box. It is one of those reasons that I am a firm believer in giving chances. It is important to allow for changes and not lock someone into a "self fulfilling prophecy”, which is looking for anything in another person that supports your previous judgement and not be willing to alter those beliefs because it means that your opinion or knowledge will have to change. Also, don't be a “framer”, "framing", or putting someone in a box and keeping them there, not really looking at the present, but basing all opinions on the past, or even the opinions of someone else. If someone is operating this way, they just can't see change.
“Accept responsibility for your life. Know that it is you who will get you where you want to go, no one else.” – Les Brown
I have always been a believer in giving second, third.... numerous chances in life. I am always grateful when I make a mistake that someone gives me another chance. I am not perfect at all, I certainly have made my share is mistakes in life.
I resolved long ago that I would give people chances. Even though I thought I was making every effort to give people chances, I realized recently that I have not always held true to my promise, as a necessity for my sanity. Specifically, as I have made changes in my life, I have removed people out of my life that have caused unnecessary drama and conflict. I have changed my relationship with others that I did not have the luxury remove. For instance, one of the boys' teachers and I were not communicating well, so I sent Super Handsome in to do the parent/teacher conference. It simplified her life and mine and it gave Super Handsome a chance to be more involved with the school. Win/win/win! That is just one of many examples.
I was crushed when my best friend, refused to give me a second chance.
What I have come to realize is that as painful as it was to loose her friendship, it was for the best. If she can’t forgive me for what I did and realize that I was sorry and that I have changed, our friendship would never work.
Don’t put someone into a box. It is one of those reasons that I am a firm believer in giving chances. It is important to allow for changes and not lock someone into a "self fulfilling prophecy”, which is looking for anything in another person that supports your previous judgement and not be willing to alter those beliefs because it means that your opinion or knowledge will have to change. Also, don't be a “framer”, "framing", or putting someone in a box and keeping them there, not really looking at the present, but basing all opinions on the past, or even the opinions of someone else. If someone is operating this way, they just can't see change.
My former friend had put me in a box and would not take the time to see how I had changed. As sad as it has made me, I understand now more then ever that if you find yourself in that kind of situation, you’re better off not being in that friendship. They won’t let you be your true self.
It has made me realize that it is ok not to give someone a thousand chances, especially if they go out of their way to alienate you, lie, swear to other that they don’t want a relationship with you while painting you in a bad light to others. I have not always behaved my best in life, but I have never gone to those extremes with anyone, for any reason. I won’t ever treat someone that way and I am afraid that there is no room in my life for someone that does that to me either.
It has made me realize that it is ok not to give someone a thousand chances, especially if they go out of their way to alienate you, lie, swear to other that they don’t want a relationship with you while painting you in a bad light to others. I have not always behaved my best in life, but I have never gone to those extremes with anyone, for any reason. I won’t ever treat someone that way and I am afraid that there is no room in my life for someone that does that to me either.
Go where you are celebrated – not tolerated. If they can’t see the real value of you, it’s time for a new start.” – Unknown
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