Expectations

Yes, this post is about expectations.  Sometimes I really hate expectations.  But, let’s face it, we all have them.

Last year was apparently for me to learn about my own expectations on others.  It wasn’t a painful lesson, but an enlightening lesson all the same.  I think that my past has given me an unrealistic view on expectations.  This year, thankfully, I had a helpful realization.

I am apparently a little or a lot type of girl when it comes to expectations.  I either expect a lot out of you or little at all.  As you can see, there is no real balance.  If I were my friends and family, I would probably want to be on the little side, especially since I know that my expectations for those I love are unusually high!

Last year, after a few months of pondering a situation that had bothered me for years, I finally understood what bothered me.  The situation was regarding one of my relationships, and a very important relationship in my life, one with my mother in law.

Pause here please.  I first have to say that I am one of the luckiest daughter in laws on this earth.  My mother in law is a truly wonderful woman and I am blessed with having her in my life.  This post is definitely not an attempt to trash her or say anything bad about her.

That said, this post is about me.  It just happened that when examining a part of our relationship and the things that sometimes complicates life, I happened to figure out something that made a big difference to me in my life.

I figured out that I often place too many, high expectations on the people that I love.  That was definitely a big part of the issue with her.  With time differences and life making it hard to talk with her over the phone, we had a nice little email exchange about it and I rightly apologized.

I then took my new found knowledge and started examining other relationships in my life.  I have to say that my new found knowledge has helped me to look at my other relationships with friends and family and see where I have held higher expectations that I probably should have and then reacted in ways that have led to further harm in the relationship.  I do think that my new found knowledge will help me in the future with those relationships and in the relationships with my children.

So, 2013, here is to keeping it real and of course to personal growth!

New Year’s Eve and Resolutions

We never get out and to crazy things for New Year’s Eve.  Let’s face it, having 4 kids are 4 good reasons why we need to stay home.  So, this year we had a nice quiet night with the kids.  We broke out the new Cluedo (aka Clue) game, my husband was he clear winner.  Then 4 of us played Angry Bird Space aka Trouble.   My 7 year old was the winner of that game and the 9 year old came in second place.

We had the telly on during the last game and we were watching the festivities in London.  The cameras were in Westminster, so at just before midnight Big Ben started to chime.  At midnight the fireworks around the London Eye started and went for a good 15 minutes.  Afterward the crowd sang Auld Land Syne.

I asked everyone what they were resolving to make better for the new year and I received various comments.  My 9 year old wants to stop biting his fingernails, the 14 year old wants to stop biting his lip!  Both very good resolutions.  The rest of my family did not seem to get the resolution bit very well.  My husband now says he is going to be meaner this year, really?

When it comes to New Year’s resolutions, I have to admit that I am not a fan of them.  I think that they are a good idea in principal, but honestly, why wait until New Year’s to make a change to yourself?

That all said, I still do have a few things that I am have trying to work on myself.  Most of what I want to do involves making better choices for myself to make myself a better person.   I am devoted to this resolution every single day of the year.

I am really very lucky, as right now I am living my dream in another country.  In the last few years, I have learned a few things about myself that I have to stop ignoring and face the facts that they just need to be done.  For instance, I need to exercise, almost everyday.  I just feel better.  It is also important for me because I would prefer to start and keep my good habits now at my age instead of starting them later.

I am skeptical about diets mostly because I have watched many that I know struggle with them. While I don’t eat horrendously, I need to start making better choices when it comes to what I eat.  Anything that I do needs to be a lifestyle change.  I need to find the proper balance for my body.  It is becoming more important for me as I age and my metabolism continues to slow down.

My struggle with exercise is always motivation.  Some days are much harder then others, I attribute part of the problem to my ADHD.  I have lethargy that goes with it, and I suffer from vitamin D deficiency.  My other struggle is that in the last few years, I have started to eat for emotional reasons.  Yes, another thing to work on, and it can be a vicious struggle for sure.

I know that we all have our own battles and I wish you the best of luck on what you are trying to change this year as well.  I think that I need to resolve to blog a bit more as well!