On Strike

In the UK, we are having one of the largest strikes in decades.  The media has been talking about it for weeks.  The strikers are from different parts of the workforce.  There are border workers, hospital workers, teachers and weather forecasters.

How has it affected me personally?  No much at all.  When I was out shopping today, it was busier then normal.  There are a lot of kids out of school right now, I heard that about 1/2-3/4 of all state schools are out.  I don't think that my kids know that, and since their school is a private school we are not affected by the strike and for our teachers, it is a business as usual kind of day.  It has affected Super Handsome more as some of his co-workers have had to take a personal day if their kids are not in school.

The workers are striking in protest at measures that the government is taking to shore up its debt.  The government is pushing back the retirement age to 67 starting in 2026, and the workers are also being required to contribute more money into the pension fund and receive less.  Their current wages have been frozen for 2 years and now pay raises will be 1% until 2014.  The government made these decisions because the UK economy did not grow at the 2.5% that was predicted, instead it only grew 0.07%.

The strike really seems to just a way for the workers to make a point that they are unhappy about the cuts.  It will be interesting to see what happens in the future between the government and the labor leaders.  The labor leaders in the 80's battled with Margaret Thatcher and it being wondered if it will happen again.  The UK has a large debt load and is second in the world to the US.  The government is trying to make good, yet unpopular decisions to shore up their problems and stabilize their economy.  Which is really a good thing, especially with things in Europe looking so bleak right now and two major governments are asking for bailouts again.  There are now talks that the fiasco with Greece and Italy may set the world economy back into recession and affect other nations like France.   Spain is projected to have problems again as well.

I think that the next year will be interesting.....

When the Rubber Band Snaps....

Long time friends.  We all have them.  The person that you haven't talked to in ages and then you pick up the phone and you just fall into easy conversation with, like you have never been apart.  I refer to it as the rubber band phenomena.  You go on with your life with your family and other friends and the bond (or rubber band) that separates you and your friend stretches.  At some point it can't stretch any further and you pick up the phone and call them, write on their FaceBook page, text them or whatever you need to do to communicate with them.  If you are not able to communicate with them, like I have not been able to with my friend from Sweden, you just think about them.  I am lucky that I have a few of them.  I was also lucky to see H yesterday (28 Nov 2011).

H was an exchange student that came to Belmond when we were seniors.  She's from Stockholm, Sweden.  We became instant friends, it was just that simple.   We have been in and out of contact through the years as life has taken us on it's winding path.

I had always promised myself that I would make it to Europe to see Hanna.  I did not quite make it to Europe, but I made it across the pond and she made it to England.  From there, with a little help from the school (for me) and with a little help from her wonderful in-laws, we were able to spend a few hours together in the afternoon.

H took the train to meet me.  I really had not let myself get too excited for our meeting, because my plans to Paris got nixed and I was very disappointed.  I could not bare another disappointment.  But, as I was in the car on my way to see her, I got very excited.  I arrived at the train station and sent her a text and figured out she was running late.  So, I parked the car and then got lost trying to get back to the station.  I finally figured out where to go and as I was walking up the ramp to the station, I saw her.  I have to admit that I started crying a bit, it was just that amazing to see her again!

We wandered a bit and finally settled on a little coffee shop.  We just sat and talked until reality and our kids became to large to ignore.  But, we left with plans for us (or maybe just me) to come and see her in Stockholm during the summer months.  I can't wait to see her again.  The impact that we left on each other's lives is still very evident and I am so thankful that she is my friend and that we are back in contact again.   Now, that we have better ways to keep in contact, I plan to get my rubber band firmly in place!  

Oldest Son turns 15

Oldest Son had the honor of being the first Beary to celebrate his birthday here in the UK.  We decide to have a party for him and invite the kids in his year.  The problem then became that there were kids that he really did not want to invite, but because the school was so small we felt that it was not a good option.  We instead assured Oldest Son that those kids would probably really not come anyway.  (and I might add, we were correct!)

Little did we know that when Oldest Son handed out the invitations, that the party would go viral.  The invites were intended for year 10's only.  There are a few year 8 girls that are a bit, umm, crazy.  They somehow got a hold of the invitation, copied it and distributed it.  The funny part of it all was I had inadvertently put the wrong phone number on the invitation.  I had also purposely not put the address of our home on it either, figuring that I would give it to them as they RSVP'ed.

That day I received an email from Oldest Son's form teacher, she requested a meeting with me.  I met with her that day and I have to say that when I left she had me wondering what I was getting myself into!  Apparently, there are at least 2 boys that are very wild in his year.   Oldest Son had also been talking to several of the guys and drinking seemed to happen at some of the parties as well.  He went back to school the next day and told the kids that asked that there would be no drinking or drugs allowed at his party.  Then, we sat and waited.

As the party grew closer, very few kids had RSVP'ed.  I had one call from a concerned mother, she would only let her son come to parties if she knew exactly what was going on.  I did not blame her after what I heard from the teacher.

The day of the party arrived and we were nervous.  We had a total of 5 kids that had RSVP'ed.  One then canceled and another was not expecting to make it.  The morning of the party, 4 other girls emailed me to let me know they wanted to come.

So, as the evening approached, we started preparing for the kids to come.  I cooked up a storm.  Oldest Son's favorite cornflake chicken, kale chips and baked beans.  The start time for the party came and went.  So, we sat and started to get a little nervous.

Apparently they had all coordinated to arrive late, as at 6pm, cars started rolling in and kids started arriving.  We ended up with Oldest Son, one other guy and 6 girls.  I served the food that I had prepared and Super Handsome started on the pizzas.  Meanwhile the kids had started with watching The Sorcerers Apprentice, which ended after about 30 mins.  They all just joked around and ate and fought with the balloons that were all over the room.

They played a bit of Rock Band and then giggled their way through one more movie (Princess Bride) before it was time to go home.  All and all I think that it was a good time had by all.

Happy Birthday to my Oldest Baby!

Thanksgiving

I had not really planned on celebrating Thanksgiving while here in the UK.  I really do not see the point, here it is just another day.  The boys don't need to miss any school, they have barely been in school one full month!

So, as the day as gotten closer, I have found as I have read on Facebook about all the preparations that my friends and family has been making, that I am kind sad about missing it.

I was asked to talk to the 4 year old's at the boys schools about our Thanksgiving traditions.  I think that it might have been rather boring for them to hear.  The teacher has described it of a Christmas time without presents.  Which as many of you know, isn't exactly right.  It is a time for a lot of preparation of food.  In particular with my family, I share the cooking with my mother and I cook most of the side dishes and a pie or two.  This year, I have turned to making a pumpkin pie from scratch, which is particularly interesting since I am not a fan.

I did bring the kids a bit of the pumpkin pie to try.  All of the kids were brave little souls and tried it, even without the dream whip.  It was wildly anticipated by the staff and I passed out little pieces to them as well.

I am not exactly sure how we are going to celebrate this American holiday.  We had talked about going to Toby Carvery for dinner.  They serve turkey, gammon, roast beef and pork with yorkshire pudding (which is kind of like a biscuit).  The dinner will be missing some of the traditional things, like yams with marshmallows,  cranberries and the pies (here they are called tarts or crumbles, pies are savory).

We are also planning on trying to Facetime with our families in the US.  We look forward to seeing them at their gatherings, if we can catch them!

Quick update on our friends’ daughter:  She is out of surgery and settled into ICU.  Keeping my sparkles on and fingers crossed for some good news about the surgery now.

The Sadness in Life....

This really has been a great experience so far, even with all the financial headaches (that are still ongoing).

The boys and I have been really, really lucky and we have found some very wonderful friends so far along the way.  Along with joy, sometimes you find about the sadness.

Yesterday, was a shattering day, particularly for myself.  I found out about our friend daughter, who is the same age as Youngest Son has brain tumor.   I have been in tears on and off.  I heard the news from a mutual friend.  Her friend has been keeping me informed of what is happening.   The little girl is currently at Addenbrooks in Cambridge because there were no beds available at Great Ormond in London.  Her tumor is quite embedded and entangled in her brain so the consultants are carefully plotting the surgery.  She is taking steroids to help reduce the swelling in her brain and to build her up a bit for the surgery.  The surgery will be next week.

Her brother  is Son 3’s  good friend, is currently in Oxford with grandparents.  But he will be back this weekend and back in school next week.  I hope to be able to help the family out more, anyway that I can.

As many of you read on my FaceBook account, I am also planning a birthday party for Oldest Son.  Here at our home, it now, now referred to as the party gone "viral".  More about that in another post.  Yesterday, we have our first RSVP.  It was from a really nice Mom who really cares what her kids are doing.  In talking to her last night, I found out that her husband died last year.  He went in to the hospital for back surgery, during surgery the doctor severed a major artery and he died a week later.  With already an emotional day under my belt, lets just say, tears flowed.

In talking to her, she shared a lot of wonderful things with me not only about her and her family, but also about her son.  Last night after I got off the phone her I went to talk to Oldest Son about what she shared with me.  I know that Oldest Son has a different perspective about her son now, particularly since Oldest Son had categorized him as a troublemaker, because he hangs out with the kids who cause trouble. The boy also got more points (at least in our house) because apparently, as he handed the invitation to his mom, he said that she needed to call me because he could go to this party as their would be no alcohol served!  The drinking age here is 18, but parents are already allowing their children to drink at parties in their homes.  Something that his mom (and this mom) does not support.  She shared with me that he is not allowed to go to parties where is it served.  She talks to the parents to ensure that underage drinking will not be happening at the parties and if it is, he does not go.

She also shared with me that her husband was Canadian and that they lived in Canada for awhile when her son was young.  She has 4 children, and her son that is Oldest Son's age is her 3rd, her youngest daughter has cerebral palsy.   She shared with me that loosing her husband has been hard in the ways one would except, it has also been hard because he was an equal partner when it came to the care of their youngest daughter.

This morning in the car Oldest Son and I talked a little bit about what a somber day yesterday was, today, like yesterday is a sunny day.  I am so, so grateful for the sun right now, without it I am not sure I would be able to pick myself up with all the sadness.  But, really we all do it, my friend is staying strong for her daughter and family.  The other mother, is staying strong and moving on without her husband.

We all hear the stories about the sad diseases and tragedies of those among us and around us.  We are all affected and it touches us, individually.  I know that I am just not able to read all the stories because emotionally I can't bear it all, none of us can.  We all have our own emotional well to delve into and when it runs dry, it is dry.  We all have these moments where we look around and are very glad for what we have and we fiercely hug our family members and love them extra-specially.  This is definitely one of those moments for me.

I know that you will all be doing the same.

Dinner--Pork and Bean Pot

Dinner tonight!  I was lucky enough to have my landlady leave me her cook books.  This is the second recipe that I have tried, the first was Shepard's pie.

It actually was much darker after it cooked, but it received thumbs up from the boys.  Super Handsome kept asking where the meat and such was (inside, honey, just eat it!)

I served it with crusty bread.  I had a salad and the boys munched on some raw carrots.

Here is the recipe:

1 bag of pinto beans, soaked in water overnight
1 pound of pork
1 pound of bacon
8 oz of pork sausage (not Italian, I used a sausage that was flavored with onion, I would recommend using a summer sausage or kielabasa)
3 celery sticks
2 garlic cloves, crushed
2 tablespoons each:  fresh thyme, rosemary, parsley
OR
2tsp of each dried
16oz can of chopped tomatoes
salt, pepper and garlic salt to taste
1.25 cups of stock (I used a pork bullion cube, I suggest beef or chicken if you can't find pork))

Drain the beans.  Chop the sausage, bacon and pork into pieces.  Brown them in a pan, scoop all the meat out and leave the grease in the pan.  Add the onions, garlic and celery to the pan and cook until they start to become translucent.

Combine the herbs with the chopped tomatoes.

In a casserole dish layer 1/3 of the meat, 1/3 of the onion & celery, and 1/3 of the beans and 1/3 of the tomato mixture.  Repeat until you have used all the ingredients.  Pour the stock into the pot. Make sure your beans are covered (you may have to add more stock)

Bake at 350 2-3 hours.

Somethings that I did different, I used 2 14oz cans of tomato.  I cheated and did not soak the beans long enough.  So, I cooked it twice for about 2 hours each time.  I checked on the beans to make sure that they were done and I had to add additional liquid twice.  Upon tasting it, I found it rather bland and added quite a bit of garlic salt at the end.

It was a hit and the boys asked me to "put it in my book”.  Oldest Son who has an endless stomach, actually filled up after 1.5 plates full.

We followed it with homemade pumpkin pie for dessert.

I am on the hunt for a recipe that will be similar in texture and taste to Mrs. Smith's frozen pumpkin pies, which are Super Handsome's favorite in the US.  My quest is further complicated by the fact that canned pumpkin is almost impossible to find (I have not found any).  So, I had to start from scratch with sugar pumpkins.

 The pie recipe that I made was not quite what Super Handsome was looking for, but I am going to try a different recipe with 2 eggs instead of 3.  He felt that it was not the right consistency, he prefers his pies creamy.

  

Remembrance Day

November 1, the kids and I noticed that the news anchors on the BBC and people on the talk shows were wearing a red flower.  Then, on Monday I looked it up online and then one of my sons came home with one pinned to his blazer....

In the UK the red flowers that they are wearing are poppies, it is worn in preparation for Armistice Day, or what we call Veterans Day.  It is observed on November 11 as the end of Word War I. The armistice with Germany was signed on the 11th hour of the 11th day of the 11th month.  The poppy has become the symbol of the day due to the following poem called In Flanders Field:

In Flanders fields the poppies glow
      Between the crosses, row on row,
   That mark our place; and in the sky
   The larks, still bravely singing, fly
Scarce heard amid the guns below.

We are the Dead. Short days ago
We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow,
   Loved and were loved, and now we lie,
         In Flanders fields.

Take up our quarrel with the foe:
To you from failing hands we throw
   The torch; be yours to hold it high.
   If ye break faith with us who die
We shall not sleep, though poppies grow
         In Flanders fields.

It was written by Major McCrae a Canadian solider after a nasty 17 day battle at Ypres.  After the first World War, poppies were observed growing on the freshly dug graves of the soliders in France and in Belgium as well.  Major McCrae died in 1918 due to injuries sustained during battle.

An American Ms Michael was inspired by his poem and wrote her own poem.  She resolved to wear a "Flanders Poppy" every year in remembrance.   Ms Michaels' idea was taken back to France by Madame Guerin, and the tradition spread quickly through Europe.  The two women met at a YMCA conference in New York City.  Ms Michaels gave then gave them out to ex-service men and her co-workers at her office in the YMCA of New York.

"We Shall Keep The Faith"

Oh! You who sleep in Flanders’ fields,
Sleep sweet – to rise anew;
We caught the torch you threw;
And holding high we kept
The faith with those who died.
We cherish, too, the Poppy red
That grows on fields where valour led.
It seems to signal to the skies
That blood of heroes never dies,
But lends a lustre to the red
Of the flower that blooms above the dead
In Flanders’ Fields.
And now the torch and poppy red
Wear in honour of our dead
Fear not that ye have died for naught
We’ve learned the lesson that ye taught
In Flanders’ Fields.

The poppy was officially adopted 2 years later by the American and British Legion.  But now, it is mainly seen in Commonwealth countries.  The funds raised are used to help disabled and injured soldiers.  This year the British Legion is hoping to raise £40million.  There is a poppy  factory that was started in 1922 in the UK, and it has been moved once.   It is still in production today.  The factory only employs former serviceman.

The poppies are sold for 5p in the schools and at the local supermarkets.  Because the paper flowers are not very robust, I went to a local grocery store found the pins that are not paper and I bought all of us one to wear and to take home for our own remembrance.  I bought my poppy pin from a little gentleman, who is part of the British Legion.   I was rewarded with a M'Lady and as you may know, I was completely delighted to hear that salutation!

In the US where the tradition started, it has been greatly diminished, I am not sure that I have seen one worn or sold in my life time.

Thank you to the all soldiers that have served and still are serving....

Carpool Monsters are Universal

 Apparently, the Carpool Monster is a common phenomena. I am not sure why I was so surprised to see that the mums here are just as crazy as they are in the US.  I think it is because the English seem so polite.  I have noticed a dad or two in the fray, but they tend to park on the street and walk up to the school, along with the other mums who apparently do not want to have to deal with the daily trauma.

I am not sure what about a carpool can turn a seemingly pleasant woman into such a thoughtless monster! It is quite amazing if you think about it.  Put a woman behind the wheel of a hideously large and expensive car they apparently mistake it as Game On!

At St. Nick's there are challenges, parking challenges.  People come onto campus and depending on their arrival they may have to wait a bit before drop off or pick up.  If arrival is not timed correctly, then the said parent is waiting in the carpool line.  Occasionally, there are cars abandoned in the drive as a mom hurries to get her child, and I am guilty of doing that myself.  The funny thing was, I get myself and Youngest Son back to the car before traffic starts moving again....

The parking lot of the school is very small.  I am not even sure the exact number of cars that it holds.  But I get infuriated every day at how people park.  Just this morning, there were at least two separate instances in which, if the offending driver had taken the time to park straight and in their space, there would have been one other space available.  If the carpool line was not such a big deal or there were more spaces then, really who cares how they park.  Unfortunately, neither is the case!

Some of the cars are also ridiculous!  In the US you seen Escaldes, big GMC's and an occasionally Mercedes.  Here, the status symbol is the Range Rover or a Land Rover.  Personally, I think they are ugly.   But hey, if you want to pay extra to drive around a gas guzzling car shaped like a box, have at it.  I will stick with my cheap, bare bones little Skoda (The Tin Can) or my The Tank, er Renault!  By the way, they both get over 40mpg! (and when I come back to the states, I am getting the most fuel efficient car that I can, even if it means sardine time for the kids when we vacation!)

The other interesting issue seems to be that even though they drive these big cars, they apparently live by the same principle as Evelyn Couch in the movie Fried Green Tomatoes, "I am older and I have more insurance".  They must have more insurance....

Guy Fawkes Day--November 5

Well, they don't celebrate Halloween here like we do in the US.  It is starting to become popular but really just in small pockets. The kids typically only trick or treat at houses where they know people.

The UK celebrates Guy Fawkes Day, every year on November 5th.  Who is Guy Fawkes you may ask and why do they celebrate him?  Surely he must be a great man....  great is an adjective that could be contested, for sure.  He was either very stupid or absolutely brilliant.  I am not exactly sure which.  I will let you, my dear reader decide!

Guy Fawkes was an English man that converted to Catholicism at a time when Catholicism was not popular in England.  James I was king and he was Protestant.  Fawkes eventually moved to Spain to fight on the side of the Catholic Spain against the Protestant Dutch Reformers.  There, he met up with a gentleman, Thomas Wintour and eventually moved back to England.   Wintour introduced him to another man, Robert Catesby who was plotting to assassinate King James I, in hopes to restore a Catholic to the throne.  The plot later became known as the Gunpower Plot.

The men planned to blow up the House of Lords.  They letted a space under the chamber and began to store explosives in the space.  Shortly after midnight, November 5, 1605, Fawkes was guarding the space when he was caught due to an anonymous letter that was written to a Catholic member of Parliament.  Fawkes was subsequently imprisoned and tortured until he revealed the names of the co-conspirators.

He was found guilty of high treason and sentenced to be hung (almost to the point of death) and then (while still alive) drawn and quartered (ouch!) with the other men.  He was the last in line and watched the other men have their sentence carried out.  Before they could execute him in the same manner, he stepped off the high scaffolding and fell to his death by breaking his neck (brilliance!).  It spared him the physical torture of his sentence, but the sentence was still carried out on his dead body.

November 5, 1605, the citizens of England were encouraged to light bonfires to celebrate the king escaping assassination. An act of Parliament was created to make each November 5th a joyful act of thanksgiving. The tradition of lighting bonfires has continued and in the 1600's fireworks were added to the festivities.  Effigies of Guy are also burned.  For many years it was celebrated with an anti-Catholic sentiments.   Now, it is a peaceful celebration to be enjoyed by all.

We are going to celebrate the evening at the school.  I plan to take the camera and take lots of pictures!

Our First Month

Well, we have been here for a month.  Actually, a tad bit longer.  But really does it matter?  The time has flown by!

I have gotten a house, we are picking up one car today and hopefully the second car by tomorrow, but most likely Monday.  I have learned to drive on the opposite side of the road for the most part and we are all still adjusting to the cultural differences.  This post is really intended to be a highlight of some of those experiences.

Driving has been interesting.  I need to thank Super Handsome for letting me drive the little BMW 1 series from the rental company.  If I would have had a big car like what I drove in the US I would have been in trouble.  Even the car that he drives would have caused me problems.  Sometimes I have problems with the small car that I get to drive now!

When I first started driving on the wrong side of the road, it was a crazy for me.  I would have anxiety attacks wondering what side of the road I was suppose to be on.  Then, I would have convinced myself that I was on the right side of the road and I would look at the cars parked on the side of the road and panic because some of the cars would be facing me and some would be facing the other direction.  Talk about making someone crazy!  I learned from the security guards at Super Handsome's work that the cars parked opposing traffic probably meant that they got home late from the pubs!  I learned quickly that when I drive, I am closest to the center line, just like I was in the US.  It completely stopped my panic attacks!

We love our house.  It is a great house and the space is fantastic.  Sunday night, we had a complete panic moment when the Kid 2’s bathroom leaked while he was taking a shower.  He had moved the shower head up to prevent the water from going on the floor and the wall, instead water leaked down into the sitting room.  The next morning, with a heavy heart I called Jan to tell her.  Thankfully, they had had it happen before, and they could not figure out where they leak was coming from.  Super Handsome thinks that he may have it figured out where the leak came from, so he is going to caulk the spot up and hopefully between the caulk and knowing what causes the leak we won't have it happen again.   Jan was thrilled that he maybe able to stop the leak.

TV and radio is different here and we are slowly finding things that we enjoy as well as ways to keep up with some of things that we watched in the US.  So far, we listen to Absolute Radio, you can stream it if you are interested.  They do repeat some songs, but they are certainly not like some of the US stations that repeat songs every hour.  I like the blend of music that they play, it is a nice blend of old and new.  Most importantly I like the 80's punk influence and some of the 90's music that it seems to have.  The DJ's are fairly entertaining as well.  I have been watching Downton Abby in iTV.  We also really enjoy Top Gear and Dr. Who.  I am sure that there are others that we may find as time goes on as well.

We are in the midst of fall here.  The trees seem to be near peak, the colors are not as vibrant as what I am used to in the US, but they are still pretty.  It has been a marvelously mild fall.  We have been blessed with some rain, but it always seem to clear off and we still see some sun,which is totally delightful.  There are days that the rain and or clouds do not clear off, but it is manageable because the temperature is not so bitter.  I have noticed that the end of the days are much cooler here then they were in Indiana.  The high temperature peaks earlier in the day, probably more around noon, unlike Indiana when the temps peaks around 15:00 (3pm).  When I am picking up the boys, I am finding that the warm coats that other mums wear are more comfortable then my lighter weight coats.  The climate is damp here, yesterday started out foggy and then cleared.  I hung blankets out on the clothes line around 13:00 (1pm) and I noticed that the grass was still damp.  I think part of the reason is that the grass may only receive morning sun.  When it rains to also seems to take awhile for all the pavement to dry, especially if the sun is not shining.

The weather in the UK is milder then what I am used to in the US.  They don't have deep freezes like we do and I noticed that many fields have broccoli planted.  Also, the rhododendrons are 9 feet tall here!  I could never get one to grow that tall back home!  I am looking forward to a milder winter.  Last year the UK had one of the worst winters ever.  They are saying this one is suppose to be bad as well.  We were suppose to get snow here by the end of October, but for now we seemed to have missed it, apparently the US east coast got it instead!  Last year, the UK was not prepared for the winter and they quickly ran out of the grit to put on the road, this year the counties have all said that they are much better prepared.  The radio DJ just pronounced the whole thing a "hysterical mess".

I love the expressions and different phrases that they use in the UK.  Some examples are: tidy, brilliant, lovely, smashing, happy day, cheers (Thanks and or good-bye), nicked (stolen), boot (back of the car), cloudy (referring to lemonade that is not clear), still (no fizz in the drink), biscuit (cookie), crisps (chip or cracker), cracker (little gift given at Christmas), bird or birds (refers to a woman or a group of them) and the list could go on.  One day I will devote a post just to the language difference.  One of my favorite's is when someone calls me darling.  Today, I was talking to the car dealer, and as we were ending our conversation he called me darling.  I will always remember the first time I was called m'lady.  I was in a restaurant looking for the WC (aka restrooms) and an older gentleman standing near the bar noticed that I seemed a bit lost.  He simply said "M'Lady" and gestured gently to where I needed to go.  As I followed his instructions, I thought to myself, I need to remember this, I was delighted!  I don't expect to be called that term often.  I think that it has probably fallen out of vogue with the younger generation.

We are slowly adjusting and moving into the routine of everyday life.  I know that we will have more adjustments to deal with and we have a great deal more to learn.  There are days that it is harder then others, for sure.  Just this week, I had one of the boys saying that he wanted to go home.  Somedays are more overwhelming then others.  But together we can do this and I hope that by making it an adventure we can have a good time with it.

Misconception

I am not sure that I really like the word misconception.  It is a heavy word filled with meaning and we are all guilty of carrying them.  I have them, I am certainly no different then anyone else.  Earlier in the day, when I was talking to the school secretary, she mentioned that she had an American pen friend when she was growing up.  Her pen friend used to ask her things like "Do you have tea with the Queen?”  We giggled about it at the time, but looked back it seems an odd coincidence with the events of the day.

Last night, at our Halloween party, I heard my first misconception.  The other mums and I were all talking in a group.  The conversation ranged from silly to serious.  I was mentioning how in the UK, there is so much more information in their media about Africa, in particular because one of the mums mentioned that her son and husband were in Tanzania doing a charity walk.  The conversation lead to her commenting that Americans don't pay attention to what is happening to the rest of the world, that we are "insular".

I could have responded rudely, and when I was talking to Super Handsome about it he asked me why I didn't.  He was right, the comment was insulting.  I never did have the inclination to respond rudely and after my conversation with my teenager, I am so glad that I did not.

I explained nicely to the woman that even the local news sources in my city provide information about what is going on the the world.  I also pointed out to her that when another country is in crisis, our government always pledge money and or aid, and that does not even start to take into account how generous our citizens are when they open their own pockets or the time that our citizens devote to other countries.

This morning my teenage son and I were talking, because he felt he was having problems with some of the boys in his year.  The incidents he mentioned were small, but I can understand why he was troubled. One boy has been bumping him when they are outside playing football and it had happened enough that my son was sure that it was on purpose and not necessarily a joke.  Another boy commented that my son was in the "low" math group.  (Which, incidentally is not true, actually he is going to be working a head since he has done their math already and he is advanced).

I talked to him about how his "honeymoon" period with all the curiosity was probably over.  Now, he was probably going to be subjected to tests by his peers.  I talked to him about misconceptions and I was able to use my experience last night to directly relate for him the positive (my way) and negative way (Super Handsome's suggestion) to deal with the situation.  We talked about the implications if I had chosen to respond on a negative manner, as Super Handsome had suggested.

I know that when my teenager went to school he felt much better about the situations that we had talked about.  I tried to give him communication tools to use when situations come up and we talked about how humor or honest education will take him a longer distance then rude comments, anger or shouting.  I prepared him for the fact that some of their misconceptions are going to be insulting, but he can change them for the better, if he uses positive communication tools.