Friendship. I was never the best at friendships growing up. A few years ago, I looked back at my 3rd grade teachers comments on my report card about how I needed to learn to be a better friend. I am not exactly sure what she was referring to, because I don’t remember a lot of my 3rd grade year. I just remember that I was always looking for a best friend, and that year my best friend was Tiffany.
After 3rd grade my quest for a BFF continued. She found a different BFF, a girl that had moved in over the summer. Three was a crowd, at least in my estimation so I moved on. I did not have a particular BFF and so I sort of gave up and really just turned to reading. The other girls moved into pre-teens and did not like me, and proved it by doing vicious girl things to me. The boys weren’t impressed with me either, I had glasses, was not a bit athletic and had my nose stuck in a book. Not interesting.
Then I moved away. I looked at it as a way to have a brand new start. I found lots of new friends and it was fantastic. I still had friendship problems. I have to admit it, I was jealous of a lot of my friends for one reason or another. I did have one really good friend, Renee that I confided into and I told her everything. At the time, it must have been hard for her because I did talk unkindly about some of our other friends and she called me out on it, in a hard way. Instead of talking to me about it, she told them. It led to a very uncomfortable and tense situation for me. But, I made my peace with them and chalked it up as a lesson learned.
Then, we moved again, back to where the girls used to torment me. I had changed and so had they. We had a lovely peace arrangement for a time. Then, between my own insecurities and theirs, we went to war. Those girls and I warred though the rest of my high school career. It was not a pleasant thing to go through and I definitely acted out at home and in school because of the miserable situation.
I learned many, many valuable lessons in the meantime. I learned how to be a good friend and I learned how to spot women that treated me like those girls had treated me. In my adult life, I carry lots of scars from those battles. When I left high school, I took what I learned and I trusted very few women.
I have had a few close friends here and there, I probably have 3 best friends and 5 really good friends. They are scattered all over the US (and now in the UK) and we communicate when it becomes important. I call it the rubber band theory. The rubber band between us stretches and stretches until it can go no further. Then, it snaps and one of us picks up the phone and calls each other. I can go for months without talking to them and then when we talk, it is like we were never apart.
I have watched other groups of women that are good friends with complete envy. My mother in law and her sisters have a great friendship. I have always wanted my own group of girl friends, forever. I have finally found them, here in the UK. This year I have a momentous birthday coming up, and on a walk with my one of my friends we discussed the grand possibilities of a girls weekend. YAY me! I finally have found ‘my’ girls.
After 3rd grade my quest for a BFF continued. She found a different BFF, a girl that had moved in over the summer. Three was a crowd, at least in my estimation so I moved on. I did not have a particular BFF and so I sort of gave up and really just turned to reading. The other girls moved into pre-teens and did not like me, and proved it by doing vicious girl things to me. The boys weren’t impressed with me either, I had glasses, was not a bit athletic and had my nose stuck in a book. Not interesting.
Then I moved away. I looked at it as a way to have a brand new start. I found lots of new friends and it was fantastic. I still had friendship problems. I have to admit it, I was jealous of a lot of my friends for one reason or another. I did have one really good friend, Renee that I confided into and I told her everything. At the time, it must have been hard for her because I did talk unkindly about some of our other friends and she called me out on it, in a hard way. Instead of talking to me about it, she told them. It led to a very uncomfortable and tense situation for me. But, I made my peace with them and chalked it up as a lesson learned.
Then, we moved again, back to where the girls used to torment me. I had changed and so had they. We had a lovely peace arrangement for a time. Then, between my own insecurities and theirs, we went to war. Those girls and I warred though the rest of my high school career. It was not a pleasant thing to go through and I definitely acted out at home and in school because of the miserable situation.
I learned many, many valuable lessons in the meantime. I learned how to be a good friend and I learned how to spot women that treated me like those girls had treated me. In my adult life, I carry lots of scars from those battles. When I left high school, I took what I learned and I trusted very few women.
I have had a few close friends here and there, I probably have 3 best friends and 5 really good friends. They are scattered all over the US (and now in the UK) and we communicate when it becomes important. I call it the rubber band theory. The rubber band between us stretches and stretches until it can go no further. Then, it snaps and one of us picks up the phone and calls each other. I can go for months without talking to them and then when we talk, it is like we were never apart.
I have watched other groups of women that are good friends with complete envy. My mother in law and her sisters have a great friendship. I have always wanted my own group of girl friends, forever. I have finally found them, here in the UK. This year I have a momentous birthday coming up, and on a walk with my one of my friends we discussed the grand possibilities of a girls weekend. YAY me! I finally have found ‘my’ girls.
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