Apologies.
I learned long ago that a meaningful sorry takes some real thought. I have tried hard to teach this concept to my children. One summer we spent the afternoon listening to a program on NPR about it. Then we discussed it and practiced it. In fact, we still practice it.
Meaningful apologies are important. This >>>>> “I am sorry that you found my comment offensive” or “I am sorry that you felt that way". Ok, well thanks. Do you feel better? Nope? Me either. In both cases the offender never actually acknowledges that they were wrong or takes any responsibility for their behavior(s). Those apologies lack sincerity, heart and avoids all responsibility.
Another thing that I have learned about apologies is that you can’t chase someone with apologies. If they don’t want to hear them, it is not going to have any effect. Sometimes, what has happened has nothing to do with you. So, I have a strict no chasing anyone for apologies policy. If there is a problem, then I wait for it to be brought to my attention, so that we can deal with the situation as adults. If you can’t or won’t do that, hmmmm, well, I am going to assume that you are looking for more (like drama and confrontation), and I am not doing it. I would rather be chasing rainbows.....
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