Mouse Olympics

Our house is old.... really old.  It was built before America was discovered.  I am sure that is on the historical registry as well.

Old houses, even ones with relatively ‘new’ extensions are eccentric.  In November, we heard sounds that indicated there were rodents going up to the attic above our room.  I let me landlords know and they promptly asked a man to come in and lay down poison.  Fantastic!  Dead mice.  The man assured me that it was not fast acting and that they should be out of the house before they kicked the can.  Hmmm, well ok.

See the little brown door? (Not the front door, the other one!)  that s where the little mousies are gaining entrance!

We still hear the pesky creatures every once and a while though.  I keep assuring my husband that they laid done plenty of poison.  They assured me they left a ton in the attic when they were leaving. Great!

Bring on the boiler man.  If you remember, we recently had our boiler replaced, during one of the coldest weeks yet this year.... I am still not over THAT trauma!  Anyway, he was kind enough (well that maybe a stretch), to let me know that we had a rodent problem as there were a lot of droppings in the little laundry/boiler shed.  I reassured myself about the crapload of poison that was in my attic.  Surely it was not all eaten yet!?!

Last night, I swear the mice decided that I did not need sleep.  Before the birds started singing (and they sing darn early here!) I heard mice or at least one mouse up in the attic.  I swear, they were holding their own mousie olympics.  I distinctly heard the climbing, running, scratching, scampering, and chewing competitions.

I am fearful that there will be continuing activities tonight.  Perhaps all the poison is gone and the participant(s) from last night are telling all their mousie friends.

No sleep tonight friends, Mousie Olympics, right here! 

S.A.D.

No, I am not sad.  Well, ok, maybe a little bit.  I am not talking about emotion today, I am talking instead about Seasonal Affective Disorder.

What is this, you might be asking?  According to the NHS:

Seasonal affective disorder (SAD) is a type of depression that has a seasonal pattern. The episodes of depression tend to occur at the same time each year, usually during the winter.

When my 10 year old was a baby (wow, it was really that long ago?), I was talking to my good friend at the time.  She mentioned that the lack of sunlight really made her feel down.  It was new information for me.  We also talked about how many of our friends were finding it difficult to cope with just being a mom and were taking anti-depressants.  She was taking them at the time and she invested in a light to help her deal with Indiana’s lack of sunlight.

This is a little more about SAD from the NHS:

The exact cause of SAD is not fully understood, but it is thought to be linked to reduced exposure to sunlight during the shorter days of the year.

Sunlight can affect some of the brain's chemicals and hormones. However, it is not clear what this effect is. One theory is that light stimulates a part of the brain called the hypothalamus which controls mood, appetite and sleep. These things can affect how you feel.

In people with SAD, a lack of sunlight and a problem with certain brain chemicals stops the hypothalamus working properly. The lack of light is thought to affect:

• the production of the hormone melatonin
• the production of the hormone serotonin
• the body's circadian rhythm (the body's internal clock, which regulates several biological processes during a 24-hour period)

I stayed busy and thought that I was fine.  I exercised regularly as a fitness instructor and I was busy going to school at the time.  I was dealing with postpartum depression at the time, but I made it through on my own steam.

Fast forward to 2008. I was finished with school, had four children and was trying to hold down a job, be a mom and a volunteer.  It was tough.  We headed to Florida for our first trip to Disney.  We followed up our trip with a week in the keys.  We were blessed with fantastic weather and we hit the beach and basked in the sun.  It was glorious and it made the rest of winter bare able.  It was soon after that I realized I was definitely a fellow SAD sufferer.  It also happened to be when we decided that it was time to move to a sunnier, warmer climate.  We had had enough of the midwest with the doom and gloom of winter.

I tested myself and the kids for vitamin D deficient in 2010 and was not surprised that we were all deficient.  So, we try to take a supplement when I can a)remember and b) find it.  I also try to keep my exercise up, as it helps.

While we live in the sunniest part of the UK, we still have some gloom in the winter.  We are also blessed with a short winter, and no big temperature extremes.  Being on an island helps, the wind is always moving the clouds around.  Usually, we are blessed with a bit of sun everyday.

 The past two days have been glorious and filled with sunshine. All three colors of crocus are now out and some of the daffodils that are in full sun are trying to bloom.  Spring is such an exciting time!

I am SAD for my friends back home that are have been or are in the process of getting hit with a massive snow storm.  I have watched my Facebook account as the storm has crossed the midwest, first hearing things from my Minnesota/Iowa, then Illinois, Indiana and soon to be my east coast friends.  Not to rub it in, but yesterday, I had the sunroof open and the sun was lovely.  Today, is another gray day as it looks like the rest of the week is destined to be.  I can take it, at least it’s not snow!

The Princess

"Change occurs only when we become what we truly are, not when we are trying to be something we are not. Change can't happen when we are trying to escape our true nature”--Lucy Edge

Once upon a time there was a miserable princess who did not realize how miserable she really was...  One day she watched two old ladies.  One of the ladies was kind and gave her opinions, good and bad with love and kind words, her family loved her and sought her out for her wisdom and kindness.  The other old lady gave her opinions with harsh words and sharp tongue, consequently, her family feared to speak to her even though they loved her.  The princess knew which woman she was destined to be and it made her sad.  So, the princess made a decision that day to make some changes in her own life. She just had no idea where or how to start.

The princess was married to a very handsome, smart prince who saw what others around her did not.  He saw how beautiful she was on the inside and how unhappy she was on the outside.  He helped her with her wish to change.  It was not easy and they often fought. He was a valiant and faithful man and he stuck by her side though the painful struggles.

The princess has always wanted to learn more about Yoga, and one day the she had the opportunity to learn.  With the support and mentoring of some very caring people in her life she took many lessons over many years.  The Yoga has made a big difference in her life and still continues too.  She continues to learn and to further her training.

She then spent some time talking to a counselor.  She found it helpful.  But times were still tough in her life and she went back to another counselor for more help.  She was determined to make some serious changes to her life. She wanted to change.  In fact, she still strives to change and to be a better person each and every day.  She reads, does Yoga, runs, and listens to the universe and learns from other positive, loving relationships in her life.

The princess slowly but surely eliminated the things in her life in which conflict was greatest.  She tried hard to deal with the conflicts that she could not avoid in new ways.  Sometimes, that included not talking about specific subjects or even taking a big step away from the situation.  She even asked not hear discussion about things that might cause her to go back to her old ways and routine.  Most of those that were close around her noticed her changes and she found her relationships with them changing in very positive ways.

Being a human princess, she still makes mistakes.  Occasionally she finds herself back in her old cycle and in unhappy situations.  Those times are unhappy ones for her even though she still learns something important about herself.

She is happier now as she surrounds herself happy, positive friendships and caring people.  Her friends seem very surprised if she mentions a story about how she used to be in the past.  Once upon a time, she used to push confrontation, now, she seeks harmony and prefers silence.

The Princess is still working to improve herself and she probably always will.  Because life is an amazing journey and she intends to live it that way.  Namaste.

 "Enlightenment was not a trophy to be lifted high in one triumphant moment, it was about seeing clearly, and choosing wisely in daily life”--Lucy Edge

Run Forrest, Run!

Forrest Gump is one of my favorite movies of all time.  I often refer to it with my Facebook posts.  One of my favorite quotes is:  My momma always said, "Life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get." 

So, I found it a bit ironic recently when I found myself having a Forrest Gump monent.  Have you ever had a moment in your life when you felt a bit like Forest Gump does after Jennie leaves?  If you remember, he was not sure what to do.  So, he just started running.

I found myself in a similar situation recently.  My husband did not leave me, thankfully.  But the situation I found myself in was a very hurtful one. I did not know what to do and I had an undeniable urge to run.  So, I listened to my body, heart and mind and I went for a run.  I am glad to say that while the situation was not over.  I felt better equipped to deal with it.

I have a feeling that I will be running a lot more in the future.

20 Years Together

Yellow Roses are one of my favorites.  As you probably know from a previous post, I have a tattoo of a yellow rose on my ankle.  I got that yellow rose on my ankle when I was 19.  That story, I will save for another day.

My husband does not often get me flowers.  So, when he does they mean a lot to me.  7 February, he surprised me, he returned home from a business trip and had 2 dozen yellow roses with him.  It was the anniversary of the night we start dating.

I have a lot to thank him for over the last 20 years.  It has been an interesting ride filled with many ups and downs.

We have been involved in:

•  family squabbles,
• our own fights,
• the births of our children, 
• weddings, 
• graduations, 
• birthdays, 
• buying homes, selling homes, 
• moving states, moving countries, 
• deaths of loved ones, 
• car accidents (mine), 
• kids in emergency rooms, 
• shoulder surgery and kidney stones (him), 
• death threats (seriously, no joke, those would be mine), 
• session of counseling (mostly mine and one couple session), 
• my messiness and 
• his refusal to eat anything colored green (with the exception of raw spinach).

We have gone a long way in 20 years, literally and figuratively.  My husband is my harshest critique and my biggest cheerleader.  He is my rock and my best friend.  Thank you, honey for the last 20 years.  Each year has gotten better and better.  Though I am not looking forward to aging and watching our children grow up (that part brings many tears), I am glad that I have you to spend the rest of my life with....

Thank you for seeing the real me, knowing what I am capable of, not giving up on me when I wanted to and while other have.  Thank you for all your support on my journey to be a better person and thank you for being my partner in this thing we call life.  I love you.

6th Form

My oldest son is in his last year at St. Nicholas School in Harlow. The school literally does not have any more grades or as they call them here in the UK years, past his current year in school.

As you might remember, the kids here can technically be done with school at age 16.  The law is in the process of being changed and will be fully in place by 2013.

In the meantime with our future being nervously passed around and no formal extension in place, we realized in a panic in December that Colin needed a back up plan for the fall.  So, I had a quick meeting with the school and formulated a battle plan. Knowing his study habits and need for supervision, they were able to point me toward a few different schools to start the application process.

So far he has applied to one school.  The Herts & Essex High School.  We received notice that they were having a short interview with all prospective applicants.  My son and several from his school had their interviews last night.  He was nervous and was unsure how it went.  Knowing my son, he was fine.  He, like his mother, has the gift of gab.  He is also lucky enough to be very smart and he has high predictions for his GCSE tests.  Now, I guess we just continue the process for now!

Chasing Rainbows? I wish...

Apologies.

I learned long ago that a meaningful sorry takes some real thought.  I have tried hard to teach this concept to my children.  One summer we spent the afternoon listening to a program on NPR about it.  Then we discussed it and practiced it.  In fact, we still practice it.

Meaningful apologies are important.  This >>>>> “I am sorry that you found my comment offensive” or “I am sorry that you felt that way".  Ok, well thanks.  Do you feel better?  Nope?  Me either.  In both cases the offender never actually acknowledges that they were wrong or takes any responsibility for their behavior(s).  Those apologies lack sincerity, heart and avoids all responsibility.

Another thing that I have learned about apologies is that you can’t chase someone with apologies.  If they don’t want to hear them, it is not going to have any effect.  Sometimes, what has happened has nothing to do with you.  So, I have a strict no chasing anyone for apologies policy.  If there is a problem, then I wait for it to be brought to my attention, so that we can deal with the situation as adults. If you can’t or won’t do that, hmmmm, well, I am going to assume that you are looking for more (like drama and confrontation), and I am not doing it.  I would rather be chasing rainbows.....